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Reds Set To Deploy Cuban Missile
Date: Fri, Aug 6, 2010
The Cuban legend goes that Aroldis Chapman once threw a fastball so hard that it caused Fidel Castro to say, “I haven’t seen something so beautiful since a young Charo.” Knowing that Fidel is a huge Charo fan, that’s not mild praise. (Fidel co-wrote Charo’s unauthorized biography, “My Cuchi-Cuchi” with Kitty Kelly.) The problem with [...]
Picking Up This Minor Is Statutory
Date: Fri, Aug 6, 2010
Almost a 11 K/9 in the minors is, uh, Mike Minor. He major, Kanye. I hope Roberto Kelly doesn’t come back to visit the Braves because when R. Kelly sees a minor, urine trouble! So should you play some Gary Glitter if you’re lusting after this Minor? In 118 2/3 IP this year, he has [...]
Top 50 Fantasy Baseball Prospects Announcement
Date: Thu, Aug 5, 2010
First, I am proud to announce that there is a new list in the left hand column of Razzball called, Top 50 Fantasy Baseball Prospects. That’s right, I labored intensely for hours on end, poured my heart out, and now it finally begins a new aspect of Razzball. Ignoring the semi-quasi emo lyrics, the main [...]
Prospecto alla Arencibia
Date: Thu, Aug 5, 2010
J.P. Arencibia was called up by the Buckless Jays. In Triple-A, Arencibia hit 31 homers in 379 ABs. That’s-a one spicy prospect! To go all Latin America on you, there’s a caveat. That was in the PCL, which is like playing on the moon with an aluminum bat. He’s not quite the prospect of Wieters, [...]
Christian Friedrich and Eric Hosmer, Scouting the Unknown
Date: Wed, Aug 4, 2010
Christian Friedrich | LHP – SP | Colorado Rockies | DOB: 7-8-87 | 6’4” | 218 lbs | B/T: R/L | 1st rd pk #25, 2008 from College | COL #2 ranked prospect according to Baseball America (2010) | MiLB Player Page After thoroughly dominating Class High-A (California League) in 2009, Friedrich has fallen on [...]
Youk Thumbs Up the Jam
Date: Wed, Aug 4, 2010
Thumb up the jam, thumb it up! While your feet are stompin’! Sorry, hard to stop that once I start. Kevin Youkilis was placed on the 15-day DL with his jammed thumb. Thumb up the jam, thumb it up! Youkilis was diagnosed with a tear of the muscle that helps contract the thumb. It’s a [...]
Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers IV
Date: Tue, Aug 3, 2010
Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite game, Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers. Ding, ding, ding… Bassoon… Triangle! Triangle! Triangle! Cow bell! More cow bell! One last ding. In today’s installment of Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers, we’re going to look at some players for the last month and try to figure out if maybe the [...]
Indians Revisit Wounded Knee, Same Results
Date: Tue, Aug 3, 2010
You know that slo-mo video of Homer Simpson taking a cannonball off his belly? This looked more painful. When Carlos Santana, the future of the Indians franchise, went down in this collision, his knee said, “I wish I were Joe Theismann’s knee.” To stay in the world of The Simpsons, you can see the exact [...]
Closer Look
Date: Mon, Aug 2, 2010
Matt Capps got traded and kept his job, Rauch didn’t get traded and lost his job, Octavio Dotel got traded and lost his job, Brian Wilson didn’t get traded but is moping because his shoes are no longer shiny. It’s the bullpens, ya’ll. Just yesterday Lindstrom was out with a sore back that he hurt [...]
End Of July Is Kind Of A Big Deal
Date: Mon, Aug 2, 2010
What I never understood about the trading deadline is why wait until the last second to make a trade? Did the Padres really wake up on July 31st and think they suddenly needed a bat? Wasn’t this apparent on April 2nd? I understand you don’t trade for pieces if you’re out of it, but the [...]
Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers, Week 18
Date: Sun, Aug 1, 2010
We are finally legal with the fantasy season turning 18 this week. Nice. I was trying to think of the best baseball movie ever this week. I asked several people in my fantasy leagues what they thought. Typical answers — the ones that we all say should be the best were mentioned. I ask you [...]
Them Crooked Save Vultures
Date: Fri, Jul 30, 2010
The save vulture is a scavenger bird. They see weakness in others’ misfortune. A closer goes down or struggles and the save vulture swoops in and gnaws on the closer’s handcuff. Peck, Brandon League, peck. The save vultures are indigenous to rural and metropolitan areas, especially if a trade is in progress. Goodbye, Rauch. Hello, [...]
Texas Can’t Win With Chris Davis, Cantu With Jorge
Date: Fri, Jul 30, 2010
Chris Davis is so easy to strike out that pitchers should let him get a 4th or 5th strike like you’d give the small-for-his-age kid in little league. “Good cut, Chris!” Then the parent who needs anger management screams, “It’s on a freakin’ tee! Hit the damn ball!” Davis is also so easy to strike [...]
Phillies Settle On Cliff Lee Replacement
Date: Thu, Jul 29, 2010
Roy Oswalt agreed to be traded to the Phillies after his son, Roy Oswalt Jr., broke it down to him, “Dad, the Astros suck, Ed Wade’s toupee’s been at half mast for years now and Ryan Howard Jr. promised to protect me from bullies.” Well, the first thing you know ol’ Roy’s a millionaire… Kinfolk [...]
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