Can’t decide if Roger Bernadina sounds like a park bench real estate agent or a telemarketer. Hey, this is Roger Bernadina– Hey, Roger, I’m in the middle of dinner. I’ll be quick. I just want to inform you that I’m hitting and stealing bases. Okay, is that it? There’s also this great timeshare in Santa [...]
Clarence Clemons Sabathia was the big man for the Yankees, one-hitting the A’s over 8 innings for his 19th win. Over 17 starts since June 1, CC has gone 14-2 and has thrown 7+ innings with less than 3 ERs in 15 of those games. Besides pissing off Red Sox Nation and Rays Famous Original [...]
Last week, my borderline fantasy starter post was nominated for a Clio. Lost to Draper, but what else is new? Drunks get all the breaks. Just being nominated was a thrill. My line for last week was: 2.17 ERA in 108 IP (that’s only 26 earned runs, you’re welcome). The WHIP was 1.19 with 7 [...]
I already put my feet on your coffee table while typing up my notes on the September call-up hitters and September call-up pitchers. Oh, and I didn’t use a coaster for my forty of Colt 45. Natch! Not too many surprises in the call-ups. The peasant Royals are dragging their feet on Mike Moustakas, not [...]
Although he is currently struggling against lefties at Triple-A, Mike Moustakas went Kanye West on Houston’s Triple-A affiliate Round Rock, going four for six while launching three home runs and a three-run double for a total of 11 RBI in a 23 to 5 routing. In other minor league news, here are the Texas League [...]
Desmond Jennings will be called up by the Rays on Wednesday. I’m as excited about owning Jennings as the next guy, assuming the ‘next guy’ is excited about owning Jennings. But where’s he playing? Is he gonna Tonya Harding Carl Crawford? Okay, but he needs a Jeff Gillooly. Who’s his Jeff Gillooly? Are you Gillooly’ing? [...]
In September, closers either mean everything or they mean nothing. You either really need closers to catch the next nearest guy in saves or you have too much ground to make up and you’re secure in your standings. If you fall into the former category, I’d grab anyone I could to get saves. Hello, Juan [...]
J.A. Happ went the distance yesterday, throwing a shutout with 3 baserunners and 4 Ks. Somewhere, Ed Wade’s Toupee smiled. Now Happ has almost a month of quality starts. So all’s good under the Happ hood, eh? Eh, indeed. Or more like crapp. Something’s not copacetic when a guy has 32 walks against 41 Ks. [...]
September 1st is an exciting time for fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!). Seasons change and it’s out with the old and in with new in baseball. For us in the fantasy baseball trenches, September 1st means rosters expand and rookies are called up. Unlike the September hitter call-ups I took my magical pencil to the [...]
Ryan Raburn isn’t just some old fashioned name that sounds like a matinee idol from the 40′s. Grandpa, tell me again about the time you were working as an extra in Hollywood and you stole Angela Lansbury away from Ryan Raburn. Well, it all started late one night at Musso & Frank’s. We were all [...]
Down goes St. Stephen, the patron saint of fantasy baseball salvation. Everyone and their brother, not mine cause mine has an X chromosome and is called sister, said they knew this was going to happen. Phooey. Can I say phooey? Well, I did and I am. It may be Mark Prior all over again, that [...]
I just want to put it out there, I love Eric Young Jr. I have a plan in place to have Prince Fielder have a long discussion Eric Young Jr. about nogoodnik fathers and step in as EY Jr.’s surrogate. We will vacation in Orlando and try faux exotic foods at Epcot, like Greek and [...]
The longest journey begins with a single step then, of course, an oblique injury. Can we get a team of crack scientists working on a cure for the obliques? The other day someone asked me for money for Doctors Without Borders so they could help people in The Congo. Why isn’t there a guy in [...]
Last week our borderline fantasy starters, I came away with an 3.95 ERA. Not too shabby considering two of those earned runs came from Ross Ohlendorf, who I warned you to only start in extreme circumstances, and Travis Wood got absolutely rocked for 7 earned runs. Without those two, the ERA was 2.90 in 62.1 [...]
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